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15-Year-Old African Kid Tells Madonna To Go ‘Have Sex’ with Herself


Dakarai Molokomme, a 15-year-old starving child from a small village in Zimbabwe, has just told , one of the most famous pop stars in the world, to  and f*** , the local media are reporting exclusively.

“Yes, it’s true, I told Madonna to go f*** herself. Do you want to know why?” Dakarai asked. “It’s the same thing every time with these snobby rich Americans. Every once in a while they come to show us their support for the so-called eradication of poverty by adopting a child from a starving family, but they actually do more harm than good. Transracial international adoptions are part of the white savior industrial complex,” Dakarai explained.

In further discussions with journalists from the media, the  stated that “none of the children here actually want to be taken away from their family and friends so they can be displayed as some kind of trophy in the homes of self-righteous singers or actors who want to score some points with the media and Oprah.”

“If they really want to help us, they should get Big Pharma to ship us some anti-retroviral drugs for the AIDS epidemic, or build schools and hospitals. If they don’t want to do that, then they can all go f** themselves!” the child told reporters.

The 15-year-old also stated that he would say the same thing to any one of those American or European “faux humanitarian posers”, except for Bono, whom he said he would also kick in the groin.

“Bono’s efforts to save the African savage from itself prove that the colonial imperative is alive and well,” Dakarai said as he walked with other village children collecting sticks to build a tree fort.



Doom Bots have hit Summoner’s Rift

I’ve gotta tell you, this post was delayed because I was playing Doom Bots, and I have to say, it’s one of the most fun game modes they’ve come out with yet.

Doom Bots are your classic Co-Op vs. AI environment with a big and important twist: all the bots’ abilities can alter and be even stronger than normal.

You and your four teammates will have to endure Ziggs’ Bouncing Bombs that home onto enemy champions, Zyra plants that spawn by themselves beside the nearest enemy champion, and Ezreal. The Prodigal Explorer alone has his own miniature version of Ultra Rapid Fire built into him- even on Doom Level 1, his Mystic Shot and Essence Flux shoot three projectiles within a 90˚ angle in front of him, and his Trueshot Barrage fires in four directions at once- in three different waves.

Summoner’s Rift is also darker and the bots have an eerie dark purple glow around them to increase the suspense of the game. When you win a game against the Doom Bots, you unlock the next level of Doom. You start out at 1, unlocking 2, then jumping directly to 5, and then the battle is really on.

Go round up your friends, summoners, and see if you can survive what the bots are dishing out.

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